KIDs & PETs

ASPCA Guide To Kids and Pets

http://www.aspca.org/pet-care/kids-and-pets/

Kids and pets—a natural fit, right? Indeed, raising a child and pet together can be a lot of fun for the whole family. But creating healthy kid-pet relationships can be challenging. Our behaviorists offer tips to teach young members of the family to care for and "play nice" with their pets, helping to foster humane habits and a lifelong bond. 

The Right Pet for Your Child’s Age

Thinking of adding a pet to the family? Make sure you’re bringing home an animal who is appropriate for your child’s age.

 

 Infants

Infants cannot handle or take care of pets. So, if you already have a family pet when your child is born—or if you adopted soon after—make sure to formally introduce your infant to your pet. Supervise them as they get to know each other, gradually increasing the length of time they spend together.

 

Toddlers

Toddlers are curious and will pull at an animal’s fur, limbs and ears in an attempt to make contact through touching. Make sure that the pet you’ve adopted can handle being touched in this way. As your pet and child spend time together (always under your supervision!), take great care that your child doesn’t hurt your pet by grabbing. Also be sure that your child doesn’t grab your pet’s food and water dishes, your cat’s litterbox or its contents. If you have fish, keep small hands away from aquarium wires and out of aquariums!

 

3-5 Years

At this age, your child is learning about contact and empathy. ASPCA experts recommend a guinea pig for a pet. Guinea pigs like to be held, seldom bite and will whistle when excited or happy, to the delight of most kids. Your child can also help with responsibilities by filling the water bottle and food dish.

 

 

 

 

 

5-10 Years

Kids this age have inconsistent attention spans and are best off with small pets such as gerbils and goldfish. Supervise them during play sessions and while they do chores such as cleaning cages, filling water bottles and bowls, measuring food and scrubbing cage furniture and toys. This is a good time to develop good hygiene habits around pets with an emphasis on washing hands and surfaces when done handling or playing.

 

 

10-13 Years

Kids in their early teens have a great interest in animals and a good capacity for responsibility. They are ready for pets such as dogs, cats and rabbits and can handle feeding and walking the pet, cleaning the cat’s litter and cleaning out the rabbit’s cage. Although kids in this age group can be reliable, adults should always check that pets have adequate food and water and that the cage or litterbox is clean. Kids can also participate in dog training classes, which can be an excellent learning opportunity for them. 

 14-17 Years

Teens tend to be very busy, and animals will have to compete for their time and attention. Recommended pets are birds and aquarium fish. They’re old enough to take on all of the responsibilities of caring for their pet, with adult supervision and guidance. They may even spend their allowance on treats. Parents should note that dogs and cats acquired at this time will probably stay in the home when the child leaves for college. 

How Kids Respond to Pets: What to Expect from Your Child

Infants & Toddlers

Infants and toddlers should be monitored by an adult when spending time with pets. Most young children are attracted to pets and want to interact with them, but infants and toddlers can’t distinguish between living beings and inanimate objects. To them, pets are the equivalent of moving stuffed toys. They can’t comprehend that pulling on a pet’s tail or hitting with a hard object will cause pain. Because of this, should a pet try to escape their grasp, they might become frustrated, squeezing too tightly or lashing out in anger, causing the pet to shy away from future interactions.

 

2-Year-Olds

By two years old, most children can learn to put their pet’s toys away in a box that’s separate from their own toys. If your child neglects to put his own toys away and your pet chews on them, remove the damaged toy for several weeks. This will help your child learn to be more protective of his toys. Likewise, teach your child to leave your pet’s toys alone, except when they’re playing together. This is similar to training a child to leave his sibling’s things alone.

 

3-Year-Olds

Never leave a child under the age of three unsupervised with an animal. Children older than this should regularly demonstrate good judgment and self-control before you allow them to be alone with a pet.
By the age of three, children are capable of playing simple, interactive games with their pets. Using their voice and small treats, they can persuade most pets to pay attention to them, retrieve a ball and join in chase games. They can also help fill your pet’s food and water bowls. Although parents should still closely monitor interactions, children of this age can also learn to respect a pet’s boundaries. For example, you can teach your child to keep his distance while your cat eats her dinner or while your dog is occupied with a safe chew toy. However, children this young can’t understand that a pet’s mind works differently than theirs does. If your pet destroys a treasured item or plays roughly enough to hurt your child, your three-year-old might think your pet did it on purpose and feel justified in punishing him.

8-Year-Olds

An eight-year-old fully understands that an animal has thoughts and feelings that are unique to her as an individual and as a member of a different species. Children this age have learned about animals through a combination of the following:

• Trial and error—getting direct feedback from a pet when she growls, scratches, runs away, purrs, licks and cuddles in response to a child’s behavior
• Watching both adults and other children interact with pets and modeling their behavior on that of others
• Being taught that a pet is a member of the family and deserves respect and consideration
• Absorbing media depictions of animals—both realistic and misleading
• Learning about animals in educational settings like schools, zoos and aquariums

 

Teens

If your child is under the age of 13, don’t leave him in charge of your pet outside your home, even if the pet is on a leash. Likewise, don’t expect a youth under the age of 15 to be able to control a pet in potentially dangerous situations, such as encountering loose dogs while walking the family dog.
We know that teenagers rely on their pets to comfort and console them when problems arise with peers, but they can also direct irrational rage at their pets. For example, a teenager might become angry and react irrationally if her pet destroys her personal items. Teens can also lose interest in their pets as they become preoccupied with peers. Later, they might feel guilty if their neglect caused their pet to be re-homed.

Fun Activities For Kids And Pets

Healthy play habits between kids and family pets don’t always come naturally—children need guidance in interacting safely and respectfully with animals. Luckily the best way to learn how to play nice is to enjoy lots of great games together. ASPCA behaviorists offer some fun, age-appropriate activities that help develop trust and a loving bond between your kids and pets.

 

Play Time

Arrange play dates for your kids and pets—supervised by you—to help build a mutual respect in the same way that play dates between children create healthy friendships.

 

Activities

Kids 6 Months To 2 Years Old:

• Your child can lie on the floor and your dog or cat can jump over him.
• You and your child can hide and then call your pet to come find you.
• Young children love peek-a-boo games. Try holding up a cloth so that your pet is concealed. Let your child pull the cloth aside, making your pet “appear.”
• If your pet is gentle, your child can smear his own fingers and toes with peanut butter or a soft cheese product and let your pet lick them clean. (Try this with your fingers first. If your pet’s nibbling is too rough, choose another activity.)
• Children in a high chair, crib or playpen can drop food for your pet to enjoy, but please avoid using animal treats because your child might eat them. It is also ESSENTIAL to avoid using foods that are dangerous to pets. Stick to healthy people foods such as green beans, carrot sticks, apple slices (without seeds), unsalted pretzels and plain, cooked pasta. 

Kids 3 To 8 Years Old:

• Your child and dog can race with each other to a designated finish line. If necessary, you can run with your dog on a leash.
• Your child can throw a toy for your pet to retrieve.
• Armed with treats, your child can hide while you stay with your pet. When your child calls out, let your pet go search for him. When your pet finds him, let your child give the treats as a reward.
• If your dog likes to chase water sprayed from a hose or water gun, your child can operate the sprayer or toy gun. While you’re supervising, have your child spray the ground a few feet away from your dog and then rapidly move the stream of water away from her, along the ground. (Watch your dog for signs that she’s not having fun anymore. If she isn’t actively chasing or trying to bite the stream of water, it’s time to stop.)
• Your child can blow bubbles for your pet to catch. You can purchase a bubble toy made especially for dogs, such as the Fetch a Bubble Big Bubble Blaster or the Bubble Buddy^™. These toys produce flavored bubbles that are safe for dogs to ingest. Please do not use regular bubble solution. It can cause mild stomach upset and can sting your pet’s eyes.
• Your child and pet can team up to find treats that you’ve hidden. While your pet can excel at finding things hidden near the ground, your child can find things hidden higher-up.
• Your child can entice your pet to chase a toy tied to the end of a rope. You can also buy an inexpensive lunge whip from a horse tack or feed store and tie a ball or other toy to the end of it. Then your child can twirl the whip in a big circle and let your pet chase the toy. 

Kids 9 To 13 Years Old:

• Children of this age can benefit from attending basic dog obedience classes with their dogs.
• Your child can play soccer-type games and Frisbee with your dog.
• Some children appreciate the challenge of competing with a dog in agility or in games such as flyball.
• Your child can search the Internet or library to find new tricks to teach your pet, such as Roll Over, Shake, Sit Up and Beg.  

Safety Tips

Whether your child and family pet are just getting to know each other or are already on their way to becoming lifelong friends, the following tips will help to enrich their relationship, while keeping both pet and child healthy and safe:

 

Physical Safety

• Teach your child to read your pet’s body language and identify signs that your pet wants to be left alone. You can learn more about your dog’s body language in our Canine Body Postures (pdf) article.
• Teach your child how to protect himself from an overexcited pet by demonstrating the basics of dog bite prevention, such as rolling into a ball, protecting hands and face and calling for help, rather than running or screaming if he’s chased by a dog. For more information, check out Dog Bite Prevention and Safety in the Pet Care section of our website.
• Teach your dog to respond to the word “Stop” and encourage your child to practice using that word when appropriate.
• Don’t let your child’s friends bring their pets into your home without adult supervision.

 

Toy Safety

• Don’t let your pet play with your child’s toys—they may not be pet-safe. The reverse is also true.
• Don’t give your child balloons to play with around your pet, and don’t give your pet balloons to play with. Your pet may be frightened by the noise of a popping balloon and could choke on one if chewed. A child can burst a balloon and choke should she try to imitate the way a pet uses his teeth.

 

Mutual Respect

• Establish that your pet’s right to end a play session is just as important as your child’s right to do so.
• Teach your child to leave your pet alone when she retreats to a bed or crate that you’ve designated as a pet’s “safe spot.”

Responsibility

• Reasonable consequences should be set for a child who neglects his pet-care chores—letting your child determine the consequence is often more effective in changing his behavior.
• Never threaten to get rid of a pet if your child fails to perform certain duties. Kids may stop caring about the pet to keep from feeling vulnerable to the possible loss.

Play Dates

• To help your child develop a good relationship with your family pet, arrange fun games and activities that produce positive responses all around. For more tips on teaching kids how to care for animals, check out our kid-friendly articles on pet care.

 

General Rules

• When your child and pet are first getting to know each other, create games that require your child to rely on words and toys rather than on direct physical contact with your pet. This will minimize the risk that your child or pet will be accidentally injured because one or the other is overexcited.
• Teach both your child and pet rules for each game, helping each to have positive, controlled interactions with each other. For example, when playing a game involving dog treats or toys, teach your dog that he must sit before earning his reward—if he jumps up or grabs at it, he does not get the reward and the game ends. This is important because many dogs will jump up on or grab at objects that kids are offering and may knock over or accidentally bite the child in their enthusiasm. This can scare or injure the child, while at the same time teach the dog that he can get what he wants simply by taking it.
• Show your child that he can get your pet to listen by using rewards. This will reduce his feelings of frustration.
• If anyone gets upset during play, a brief time-out is effective for both children and animals. Establish safe areas where your child and your pet can spend time by themselves, separately, for a brief period. For pets, 30 to 60 seconds is a reasonable time-out period. One minute for every year of age is the general rule for children. However, you may wish to consult with your pediatrician to determine an appropriate time-out period. 

Warning Signs That Your Child’s Behavior Is Dangerous To Pets

Children are naturally interested in interacting with—and getting a reaction from—the family pet. It’s not uncommon for them to hide food, play a little too rough, play dress up with the pet or put makeup and hair products on her. In these situations, parental guidance is needed, as a pet may feel uncomfortable or suffer harm if dangerous substances are ingested.

More serious, however, is when a child intends to hurt an animal. Whether the cause is peer pressure or a cry for help, true malicious animal cruelty is not a behavior that children outgrow by themselves. Professional intervention may be needed to prevent behavior problems that can stay with a child into adulthood, and even be acted out on other human beings.

The following behaviors may indicate that intervention is needed to guide your child away from cruel behaviors toward animals:

• Chasing a fleeing pet
• Locking a pet in a closet
• Leaving a pet outdoors
• Knowingly or unknowingly feeding a pet harmful human foods.
• Feeding human medications that are dangerous to pets to see what effect the pills will have
• Placing a tight rubber band around a paw
• Painting a pet’s body
• Putting a small animal in a washing machine, microwave or other appliance
• Staging fights between dogs or letting one animal chase another
• Deriving pleasure from seeing a frightened or suffering pet
• Responding to adult reprimands by engaging in secretive, hostile acts toward the pet
• Burning an animal
• Teasing an animal with firecrackers
• Repeatedly showing off the inhumane handling of a pet to others
• Putting an animal in dangerous situations, such as dangling her outside a window or bringing her into the road

 

Taking Action

If you discover your child repeatedly putting an animal into dangerous situations, act swiftly to teach him that these behaviors are not acceptable. The following guidelines may help:

• Do not ignore or dismiss pet-unfriendly actions. Most children, when dealt with as though they’ve committed a serious offense, will think twice before repeating the behavior.
• Use the same serious tone of voice that you would use if you saw your child running across the street without stopping to look for oncoming traffic.
• A simple, clear statement such as, “We don’t hurt animals” is far more effective than lecturing.
• If your child persists in hitting, kicking, pinching or teasing your pet in spite of your repeated corrections, consult with your pediatrician or an expert in child development.
• You set the example. Never hit, shake, jerk or yell at your family pet—your child may imitate you and go too far.
• If you overreact in anger toward your pet, show your child that it’s all right to apologize to the pet, just as you would apologize to a person.
• If your teenager involves the family dog in high-risk activities such as dog fighting, not only should you intervene, but check in to see if your child is being influenced by alcohol, drugs, gambling or other unhealthy behaviors that involve peer pressure.
• Remember that for most children, learning empathy and respect toward animals is part of the normal socialization process. These values are instilled the same way as learning not to hit friends or tease mercilessly.

Challenges And Solutions

Though certain challenges may arise when you raise kids and pets together, our experts offer solutions that’ll keep the whole family happy together.

Challenges: Your child doesn’t seem to care about animals as much as you do.

 

Solutions: Give it time. If you try to force the issue it will probably take even longer for your child to develop an affinity toward animals. If you’re providing your child opportunities for positive experiences with animals, they will most likely grow up appreciating animals—maybe even more than you do. If they don’t, as long as your child is not interacting inappropriately or maliciously with animals [link to warning signs of unhealthy behavior]. it’s important to accept that difference.

 

Challenges: You idealize or have unrealistic expectations about the role a pet could play in your child’s life.

 

Solutions: There are a great many benefits to growing up with animals, but it’s important to know that animals are not a solution for all the trials and tribulations of childhood. Your child may not turn to animals for comfort or company. Keeping this in mind will help ground your expectations.

 

Challenges: Your child appears to resent the time and attention that you give to your pet, especially if you spend time on pet-centered activities that your child doesn’t want to participate in.

 

Solutions: This is an age-old parent challenge—making time for yourself and others who are important to you in addition to your children. It’s important to indicate, in every possible way, that your pet is a member of the family and that each member of the family gets his or her fair share of attention. Spend one-on-one time with your child in addition to any time you may spend with your pet and child together, and be sure this is purely fun time, not chores or errands. Assure your child that you love him or her, and that spending time with your pet doesn’t take away from that.

 

Challenges: The family pet is showing signs of stress, including separation anxiety, chewing on or scratching furniture and going to the bathroom in inappropriate places.

 

Solutions:

• Make your pet's daily schedule as predictable as possible. Feeding, walking, play and rest times should be consistent from day to day.
• Set aside 20 minutes a day for uninterrupted together time with your pet. Do this at the same time each day and include exercise, which will burn off extra energy and relax the both of you.
• Provide lots of safe, fun things for your pet to do on her own. Dogs usually like to chew, so stuff a Kong with dog food or healthy snacks. Kongs can be prepared and then frozen ahead of time as a time-saver. Cats like to explore, so leave empty cardboard boxes out or open closet doors or drawers for her to investigate (do make sure the environment is safe, and that the drawers are stable and doors won’t shut on her). And catnip toys are often appreciated.
• Rotate your pet’s toys, exchanging them every few days so they stay interesting.

Challenges: You and your partner feel differently about the family pet—i.e. one of you may be afraid, or you may have different ideas about the pet’s role in the family.

 

Solutions: In an ideal situation, you’ll have the luxury of working these differences out before bringing a pet into the family. If a pet is already a member of the family, these differences can still be addressed. Together with your partner, and perhaps with the aid of a psychologist or other relationship counselor, you can determine how to make your life with your pet work for both of you.

 

Challenges: Your child wants a pet, but you don’t.

 

Solutions: It’s important to make a realistic decision about whether or not you can bring a pet into your family. Read up on the time and care that different animals require so that you can make an informed decision about what kind of pet you might adopt. If you can’t, be truthful with your child. Explain why you can’t have a pet right now. Remember that you will be the animal’s primary caretaker. While kids should be able to help, they won’t be able to do it all and they’ll need you to set the example. If you’re not able to take on the responsibility, it won’t be fair to your child or to the animal you adopt.